I Heart New Mobotropolis
by ClockwerkOrange
Summary: In the midst of a major housing shortage, Celine the Squirrel moves in with Sally Acorn. Sally Acorn is responsible, thoughtful, and kind, but Celine is essentially the opposite. Hilarity ensues. Buy some Sally Acorn Sparkling Wine!
1. Homecoming

"Well, Miss Celine, unfortunately... housing is a little tight in New Mobotropolis," the suit-wearing badger said quietly, putting an understanding hand on her shoulder. The badger nodded. "You _may _have to get an apartment, and you _may _have to have a roommate."

Celine coolly pushed the badger's hand off of her shoulder. "I don't like the idea of a roommate. It's too bad Nyx already has one." Celine frowned. The housing issue in New Mobotropolis certainly was an unforeseen event when Celine and Nyx came to this zone. There just wasn't enough room!

"Well, I'm sure we'll be able to find an acceptable roomie for you, or my name isn't Sarah the Badger!" she replied, eyeing the clipboard that she was carrying. She scanned a few lines, flipped through a few pages, and scribbled something on the paper. Her smile gradually faded, and was placed by a drawn out expression of intense concentration. "Hmm."

"Yes?" Celine asked flatly. Her expression could turn someone to stone, and, if Sarah had been a little less bubbly and vacant, she would probably _have _been.

"Well, it seems that Princess Sally Acorn is a good choice, seeing as you _are _virtually her doppelganger from another zone..." she said, looking at Celine with a cocked head. Celine rolled her eyes. That was old news. Sure, Celine and Nyx both happened to look exactly like Sally Acorn, both for different reasons, but did it really seem smart to let her be Sally's roommate? Celine knew that she wasn't going to stab her to death, but it certainly would have cast some doubt on the intelligence of New Mobotropolis' Housing Department if she did. It seemed pretty odd that even a princess would be reduced to living in an apartment... well, I guess it wouldn't do well to have royalty in a position _too_ much better than the general populace.

"Yes, well... she _is _royalty - why would they let just anyone be her roommate?" Celine asked, breaking away from her musing.

"Uh, well, the housing crisis is serious, and you're the first person that I think would fit the bill," Sarah commented. Celine had half a mind to push her onto the ground and stomp on her spine. She wasn't known for having an extremely long fuse.

"Well, fill out the appropriate forms, I suppose," Celine muttered, suppressing her violent thoughts.

"Great! Another satisfied client," Sarah said, giving Celine a stack of forms and a pen. Celine looked at the sharp pen, and then looked at Sarah. Sarah gave her a completely vacant smile. Celine grimaced and began to fill out the forms.

* * *

"Um... well, Celine, welcome to my little slice of heaven," Princess Sally Acorn muttered, gesturing around relatively large, two story apartment. There was a ground floor entrance that went up a carpet-covered flight of stairs that connected to the dining room and living room, both in an open space. The kitchen was partially tucked away to the right of the dining room by a wall covering half of it. Facing the fireplace in the living room, there was another staircase that led up to the loft where a few boxes were. To the left of the stairs, there was a hallway that connected two bedrooms together, one for Celine and one for Nyx.

"I had to clear most of my files from your room," Sally said. "I was using the spare bedroom to store my supplies for work."

"Work?" Celine asked. "I thought you were a Freedom Fighter. What, with the sword swinging and the adventure."

Sally let out a sudden laugh. "Yes, well, I've had to deal with lots of politics lately. Not a lot of time for fighting. Oh, follow me."

Sally walked down the hallway into her bedroom with Celine following. Her bedroom was a complete mess. There were yellow folders strewn about, and documents all over her desk and bed.

"Sorry, I haven't had time to organize them..." Sally said with a frown. "Oh, here it is!"

Sally picked up a small orange package that was a few inches long. She opened the small envelope and pulled out two keys.

"Here, these are your copies of the keys," Sally said, handing them to her. She reached into the small envelope again and pulled out a key ring.

"Oh, thanks," Celine said, taking the keys.

"Geez, look at the time!" Sally said, taking a look at the clock. It informed any onlookers that it was, in fact, 6 o'clock a.m. "I have to get to work!" she said, grabbing her coat that was hanging on the top corner of her closet door. She drew the coat around her and zipped it up. She looked around frantically, saw where her briefcase was sitting, and grabbed it. "I'll be back at four or five... make yourself at home," she said, then, realizing the humor in the statement, laughed for a few seconds.

"Well, good luck in the political battlefield," Celine commented with a thin smile.

Sally paused and looked at her dead in the face. "You have _no _idea." Sally looked away and straightened her coat. "Well, there's plenty of food in the fridge... I'll see you later!"

"Bye," Celine replied. "Don't worry, I'm not going to starve to death while you're gone."

"Right. See you," Sally called as she walked down the staircase to the front door.

Celine put her hands behind her head and yawned. "Well, gee."


	2. Just a Fairy Tale?

Sally walked up the sidewalk to her apartment building and jammed the house key into the deadbolt. She turned it to the left, twisted the handle, and pushed the door in. She entered, closed the door, locked it, and started up the entrance stairs. Upon reaching the top, she looked into the living room and saw Celine on the sofa, asleep. She chuckled and sat her briefcase down. The slight sound woke Celine up.

"What? Oh, Sally," Celine said as she sat up on the sofa and yawned. "I, uh, alphabetized your files."

Sally raised an eyebrow. "You did what?"

"I alphabetized your files. In your file cabinet?" Celine repeated with a quizzical expression.

Sally began walking to her bedroom, and looked around. There weren't any of her files or folders anywhere. She pulled open the middle drawer of her file cabinet. All of the folders were arranged neatly. Sally looked into the hallway and noticed that Celine had walked up.

"I told you," she commented, while yawning again.

"Well, hey..." Sally said. "Thanks."

Celine walked to the living room, chuckling, and Sally followed.

"So, how'd your day go?" Celine asked as she sat on the sofa and propped her feet up on the coffee table. "And why did you have to go to work so _early_? At six?" She shot Sally a curious glance.

Sally sat down on the living room chair. "Well, I had to have an important meeting... it lasted until noon." Sally glanced at the clock. It was one thirty. "Dealing with the city council isn't always convenient."

"Interesting. One thing, I'd been staying in a hotel room before now, so I just wanted to let you know that I'm having someone coming over to bring my assorted black cloaks and stuff," Celine said quietly as she began to curl up on the sofa again, eyes closed. She opened her eyes and looked at Sally. "That's fine, correct?"

Sally raised an eyebrow. "Black cloaks?" she asked.

"Yes. Don't you remember? The first time you saw me. You know, with Sonic? I had a black cloak on," Celine said as she closed her eyes again and began hugging a pillow. "I like them."

"Oh, right... _that_ black cloak," Sally commented as she rolled her eyes.

"Don't judge me," she shot back with a glare, and continued to clutch the pillow.

The sound of the apartment's doorbell reverberated throughout the room.

Celine half-stumbled away from the sofa. "That'll be my stuff!"

There were sounds of muffled conversation, and a sound of the front door closing.

"Fantastic!" Celine called as she reached the top of the stairs. Sally waited as she heard Celine unpacking. Eventually, Celine walked back in. She had changed into a purple T-shirt and loose, baggy black pants.

"Emo," Sally commented.

"Shut up," Celine returned. "You know, Nyx left today," she said with a sigh. She collapsed onto the sofa with a grim expression.

"Nyx? The other 'me'?" Sally asked curiously. "What do you mean, 'left'?"

"As in, she's gone. Boom. Bam. Back to Moebius," Celine muttered, but then froze. Her eyes fixed on Sally's. It was obvious that she had slipped up. Sally didn't know that Celine was, technically, her, and that Nyx was, also technically, Alicia from Moebius, or Anti-Mobius.

"Moebius?" Sally asked, sitting up in the chair with a quizzical. "Why would she go to Moebius? The only 'me' there is Alicia."

Celine grimaced. "Okay, she's Alicia, and I'm you."

Sally raised an eyebrow. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Gee, you're all about wondering what I mean," Celine replied, crossing her arms. "I mean that I'm you if something that was never meant to happen... happened," she said.

"Like...?" Sally ventured, shifting positions in the chair.

"Well, I'm the end result of a space-time fluke in which your parents died about a year ago, and you tried to wage war with the planet," Celine said as she twirled a finger in her black hair. "Don't give me that look. You wanted to know."

"Well, no harm done," Sally stated. "Now _you _don't give _me _that look. You're lucky to be here, hmm?"

"I'm insane," Celine commented.

Sally raised an eyebrow, paused a few seconds, and then realized that she had been none-too-subtly insulted. "Jerk."

"You're talking to yourself, again..." Celine warned.

Before Sally could brutally murder herself with an axe freshly run across a whetstone, the phone rang.

"I better get that," Sally said, and then tried to cut off her murderous thoughts.

"No, _you'd_ better get that," Celine suggested playfully.

"Okay, can you quit it with the doppelganger jokes?" Sally muttered as she walked to the kitchen and grabbed the phone.

"Hello?" she asked, and then paused. "What?" she asked. "Okay... are you sure about that? One-hundred percent?" She paused again. "Well, okay. I'll be right on it."

"What is it?" Celine asked curiously.

"Apparently, I've been left a vineyard by a long-lost half grand twice-removed step cousin, or something," Sally explained.

"That's fantastic!" Celine shouted. "Now we can _swim_ in alcohol!"

Sally paused. That was the first, silly thought that _she_ had. Creepy. She was yanked from her musings when the phone rang again. She picked it up.

"Yes?" she asked. "Sonic," she said blankly. "How are you?"

Celine grimaced, stretched out on the sofa, flipped to her stomach, and then propped up her head with her elbows embedded in the sofa cushion. Her expression became more and more grim as Sally talked all about recent events, Celine showing up, and about how she had inherited a vineyard. Eventually, Sally finished the conversation and hung up.

"Why did you even talk to him?" Celine asked.

"What are you talking about?" Sally asked with a blank expression. She sat back down.

"You know damn well what I'm talking about," Celine spat. "He's a complete jerk. I can't believe you're on civil terms with him."

"Why would you say that?" Sally asked.

"I have _your_ memories up to the splitting of the timeline," Celine muttered.

"So?"

"So, he's slept with every single high-profile chick on Mobius. Amy, Mina, Bunnie... and, I'll wager, about a thousand more. In fact, I think he's gotten to over nine-thousand. I'll bet you'd go back to him if he wanted you to. You're just weak enough."

"How would you know?" Sally retorted, but then paused.

"Yeah," Celine shot back. "I'm you. You can't argue with logic."

"He hasn't... not with them," Sally whispered.

"Oh, right, right, the delusional princess always has her fairy-tale prince. Naturally. Unlike you, I'm not blinded by false hope. I'm a pure, logical observer in your life."

"I don't want to talk about it," Sally whispered.

"Damn it, if you let him two-time you again..." Celine warned.

"I don't want to talk about it!" Sally shouted.

"Fine, fine, geez."

* * *

Celine had finally gotten completely unpacked, and her belongings had settled nicely into Sally's spare bedroom's cabinets. Sally had gone in to check on her and, possibly, see if she could assist in any way, and was greeted by a scene of Celine running in place while listening to some pounding techno music.

"Celine?"

Celine whipped around, assumed a combat stance, and then relaxed. "Don't sneak up on me, I might accidentally kill you."

Sally was about to laugh, but then noticed that Celine wasn't kidding. Celine seemed more athletic than her counterpart, and, to Sally's disappointment, was just a tiny bit thinner than she was.

"Sally? Why are you looking at me like that?" Celine asked cautiously, and with a raised eyebrow.

Sally looked back up and met Celine's eyes. Realizing what Celine was suggesting, she blushed brightly and averted her eyes. "I... er..."

"What, do you like what you see?" Celine asked. "I've heard of self-esteem, but..."

"Keep dreaming," Sally commented dryly as she recovered her composure. "Maybe you should get ready for when Sonic and Knuckles show up."

"Oh, I don't know why you offered to take them to dinner," Celine muttered. "Knuckles is okay, but, like I said, Sonic's a jerk."

"Keep your comments to yourself," Sally snapped. "Besides, they both took time out of their schedules to talk about important things. Political stuff. Things like that."

"I am," Celine countered. "Get it? Get it?"

"Yes."

"Well, I'm going to take a quick shower before we all head out," Celine said, and then began to walk into the bathroom that was connected to her room. She turned around to face her doppelganger, and then grinned mischievously. "I'm sure you'd like to see _that._"

Sally rolled her eyes.


End file.
